New Moon:

Or, Suicidal Self-Destructive Emo Behavior Is A Perfectly Healthy And Reasonable Response To Being Dumped


You thought Twilight was pointless, dull, obnoxious and full of antifeminist drivel? Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Having pretty much exhausted all the drama and angst she could in the first book, Stephenie Meyer decided to unleash on us: New Moon, a book which makes up whole new sources of angst.

Like, papercuts will ruin your life and cause your boyfriend to dump your ass, which means you must become suicidal while toying with the heart of a hot werewolf boy. I wish I were kidding. Because I'm not. This book is THAT creatively bankrupt - the entire thing is about one teenage girl's emogasm because her asshole boyfriend moved away. It's basically THIS all the time. And it's BOOORRRRIIINNNGGGG.

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