So what do you think the problem is here?
Oh, Lord... I think it's what I just said: Jim and Pamela are both dead, I'm the one who's still alive, the only one who made it to grownuphood,
Nope, sorry, not a good enough reason. There are plenty of rock wives/paramours who make it to "grownuphood," and maturity has nothing to do with whether people like them or not. And no, being a Strong Independent Woman has nothing to do with it either.
Usually wives and girlfriends are disliked if they are perceived as interfering in the rock star's musical life and/or band, or if they seem like crazy bitches who can only be bad for the rocker's psyche. That is why people hate Yoko Ono and not Jane Asher (interference), and hate Courtney Love but like Marianne Faithfull (crazy bitch).
and so by default I become either the lightning rod for all the evil negative fu emanating from the dementoids that have made Jim their personal poster boy, or the prey of the untalented pathologies with major shrinkworthy problems who psychotically identify with Pam, glorifying her, denying her factual and attested nature for a fantasy of someone who was definitely NOT Pamela Courson
Again, Kennealy seems painfully unable to acknowledge that anyone might be able to not buy her Lizard Queen persona and claims, and yet not be an insane psychotic obsessive fanboi who identifies with Pam.
(who for all her faults and flaws had a great and sunny charm -- when she wasn't strung out on smack or screaming at Jim like a fishwife, by all accounts both regular occurrences
Someone needs to tell Kennealy that when she is unable to compliment Pam WITHOUT also insulting her, it does NOT look like she's just telling the unvarnished truth. It just makes her look bitter and jealous.
I have read Kennealy's book, where she meets Pam only a few times. Yes, on one of those occasions she was high as a kite, but recall that Kennealy was downing pills like candy and Morrison drank himself into full asshole mode, so she's no one to talk. And we don't see any instances of her being a big bitch to Morrison. In fact, she comes across as rather sweet, which only seems to make PKM angrier.
Most of PKM's knowledge of Pamela in the book was secondhand information from other people, and she seems to have only focused on the negative.
And again, this is a third-hand account we're supposed to believe. Note how she says "by all accounts." So, she didn't actually see this, she just heard it through the grapevine from who-knows-who, and took it as gospel truth. She doesn't even say it was according to people who knew Jim well, or people she trusted. And as a former journalist, she should know that "by all accounts" is a shit form of citation.
I'd also like to add that this is another example of Kennealy's tale constantly growing in the telling. Strange Days was pretty vicious towards Pamela Courson, but really the worst thing that Kennealy was able to concretely say about her was that she was dumb. Courson was just as dead then as she is now, and so obviously she couldn't provide Kennealy with any new information. But by 2000 - eight years after her memoir was published - somehow Pam has acquired a buttload of NEW damning flaws.
-- and a prettiness that was truly astonishing; what a pity the inside of her didn't match the outside),
Yeah, when someone says this about their ROMANTIC RIVAL, it sounds suspiciously like jealous bitterness.
revisionistically revamping her role in Jim's life, savagely trashing anyone whose truth conflicts with their deeply delusional construct
Yes, those evil evil fanboys like... the other Doors! They were all LYING! What the hell did THEY know about Jim Morrison compared to PKM?!
in short, doing to me exactly what they say I do to Pam...but at least I have an excuse grounded in real life and love and loss.
Um... so, she just ADMITTED that she "revisionistically revamped [Pam's] role in Jim's life" and is "savagely trashing anyone whose truth conflicts with her deeply delusional construct." Seriously. She says she has an excuse! If she WEREN'T doing this, why would she need an excuse?
Listen. I have ALWAYS credited Pam with EXACTLY what she deserves, the good as well as the bad -- though I don't expect to be given credit for that either.
Credit for what? Being able to insult her at length without a break, but being unable to compliment her without leavening it with an insult?
And who decides what Pamela Courson deserves? Certainly not a woman who had and still has a vested interest in seeing the absolute worst in her, dead or alive.
And it is absolutely untrue that, as they claim, the reason people disparage me and my relationship with Jim is because I disparage Pam and hers.
How would YOU know, lady? You don't know their motives. You don't know what they think.
And personally, I'd be a LOT more inclined to believe Kennealy's story if she weren't so insistent on bashing Pam. Not only do her accounts of Pam and her relationship with Morrison not line up with ANYONE else's, but it shows imbalance in her viewpoints. When someone heaps hate on their romantic rival, I automatically question just what it is they're trying to prove. I mean, she might have a reason for this sort of hate if Pamela had actually DONE something to her, or offended her morally or something.
But honestly, her hatred for Pam is never given a good reason except for claims of murder that are based entirely ON UNSUPPORTED THEORY/HEARSAY. The rest of it... well, there's some intellectual snobbery, and... I dunno, really.
No. They have been disparaging my relationship with Jim from the first, long before I ever opened my mouth about how I felt about Pam, the suspicions I had, even back when I was still being publicly generous about her for Jim's sake.
- If Jim was as contemptuous of Pam as she claims, why would she fake being generous about her?
- Her suspicions are still not anything MORE than suspicions.
- And again, her feelings on Pam are constantly growing. Back when Strange Days was first released, it was basically "Pam's stupid! I hate her!" with a helping of unacknowledged jealousy. I could MAYBE buy that her feelings towards Pam had soured in the following years if Pam were still alive, BUT SHE'S NOT. So for some reason, Kennealy keeps getting more hostile!
In fact, they have never "paraged" it at all. EVER.
... why would they? What was there to "parage"? Yes, she had a relationship with Morrison, but does she deserve praise for that?
And after twenty-five years of bearing it in silence I have a lot of catching up to do...
Except for the fact that she didn't spent that time "in silence." As expressed elsewhere, she gave multiple interviews to multiple authors about her time with Morrison.
But then, those authors either believed Pam to be his primary squeeze, or they caught her making statements that she now wishes she hadn't made. So she'll pretend that never happened.
It's people being white blind jealous that I got to sleep with Jim and they didn't (well, at least some of them didn't...);
- "Ur stupid! Ur just jellus cuz I got to sleep with Jim and U didn't! So there!"
- Yeah, this is seriously the ONLY reason she can think of that anyone would not buy the Lizard Queen act (you know, "I was his true love and Pam was an evil junkie murdering whore who was stupid and he's still in love with me, so there!").
- People couldn't believe that her heavily biased, ever-changing account could be unreliable. No, it's only people who are JEALOUS of her who are unimpressed by her over-the-top claims.
- And if people are jealous of those who got to sleep with Jim Morrison... why would they single out PKM? She was hardly the only person who slept with him.
- Wouldn't they logically hate Pamela Courson too? And Judy Huddleston, and Nico, and Grace Slick, and Pamela des Barres, etc etc forever and ever.
- And honestly, I'm not really jealous of anyone who slept with Jim Morrison, because he died many years BEFORE I WAS BORN.
that I married Jim and they couldn't;
Nope, I have no desire to marry Jim Morrison, even if he were alive and still young.
Wanna hear why he wasn't a good possibility for Le Mariage?
"... he was just one of those people who changed his mind a lot." muses Patricia. "You never knew where you were. There was no consistency, but inconsistency."
"He could be the unadulterated creep, the pig man of L.A. He could be incredibly cruel. I don't know how he made me happy."
"As soon as a relationship got trying, he would get crazy and run away from it. I used to think, when things got really hairy, `Well, doesn't he want to keep me?' Apparently not, if it means work."
"I think he was losing all sense of judgment at this point [SK: when he left for Paris]. Our relationship had gotten so weird with all this other stuff."
If Jim were alive today, would Patricia put up with all the stuff that Jim used to pull on her? "Never in a million years!" she answers vehemently. "No way. This wasn't any kind of liberating relationship! He called all the shots. And the worst part of being with him was that I never knew whether I was going to see him again. I never asked him, `When am I going to see you again?' I was afraid to hear what he might say."
- Victoria Balfour, Rock Wives: The Hard Lives and Good Times of the Wives, Girlfriends, and Groupies of Rock and Roll
So yeah, I could see people wanting to fuck him, but not marry him.
that Patricia Kennealy Morrison has a real life and a real career, and what did Pamela leave behind her except a dead body in a Paris bathtub and a name to which shall cling forever the ineffaceable stink of whoredom and of smack.
- Yes, that's TOTALLY fair.
- And no, that isn't really what comes to mind when one thinks of Pamela Courson. Usually people who even know of her... think of Jim Morrison's inamorata.
- And honestly, in the annals of rock'n'roll, having an open relationship and a heroin problem don't exactly make you the worst of the worst. You'd think a former rock journalist would know that.
- Yes, Patricia Kennealy has a real life! She doesn't devote her time and energy to constantly trumpeting a relationship she had forty years ago!
- She only wrote an autobiography that only focuses on her time with him, made a website that trumpets how totally a legendary couple they were, KILLED her sci-fi series with a Sue retelling of their love affair and now writes self-insert murder mysteries where a fearless rock journalist falls in love with a legendary rocker! SHE'S GOT A REAL LIFE AND CAREER, DAMMIT!
As a novelist, I hold ever to the maxim that action reveals character:
Can't argue there. The question is, do you apply this maxim to ANYBODY except Pamela Courson? For instance, what do Jim Morrison's actions say about HIM? Like his douchey actions recorded in her book? Or what about her admitting to stalkery actions and seething hatred for the dead?
And to judge by actions alone, both before Jim's death and after, whatever Pamela Susan Courson may have had of character was neither very admirable nor very much.
- Lady, in your own autobiography, the worst thing you were able to say about her is "she's stoopid!"
- Most of the actions you attribute to her since then are hearsay or theory. Not much to judge on.
- And some people might argue the same of you.
It's people claiming deep secret sources but mysteriously never saying who,
Not like me! I listen to the voices in my head, and they tell me everything I need! By all accounts!
not wanting to believe what I and others say -- what Pam's own friends say! -- because it contradicts the pathetic fantasies they've built up.
Who are these people she's criticizing?! Who are these friends of Pam? Who are these "others," for the love of fuck? This is the biggest example of a strawman argument EVER.
They have fabricated this picture of Pam as a combination of Mme. Pasteur, Julia Roberts, Emma Thompson and Mother Teresa, the Muse without whom the Doors' music never would have existed
- "... when in reality I was the combination of Mme. Pasteur, Julia Roberts, Emma Thompson and Mother Teresa! CAN'T THEY GET THAT THROUGH THEIR THICK SKULLS?"
- Again, I have never seen anyone claim this. I may simply not have seen it, but considering the conspiracies that Kennealy claims to know of and the "facts" she can't prove...
- And for some reason, it strikes me as odd that she mentions two not-terribly-attractive actresses in her list. I mean, I love Emma Thompson, but she’s never been a sexpot. And Julia Roberts... yeesh.
who never touched smack in her life, never turned a single trick, was completely faithful to Jim, and was murdered because she Knew Too Much.
I'm starting to wonder if Kennealy is just hallucinating these Pam-centric fanatics that she is absolutely convinced litter the Doors fandom.
And the Pam Life Fantasy has a concomitant Jim Death Fantasy -- that Jim actually died not of Pam's heroinbut of, say, suddenly reappearing childhood rheumatic fever, or pneumonia, or chronic asthma -- though we never even saw Jim use an inhaler --
- Who is "we"?
- Also, you can develop asthma at any age. I know someone who developed it in her FIFTIES, so if Morrison had had a serious respiratory infection like bronchitis or pneumonia, he could have easily gotten asthma. So much for Ms. MensaBrain Smartypants.
- Apparently the asthma thing was confirmed by a doctor. Now, this doctor obviously isn't too reliable since he signed off on a death certificate without confirming the cause of death... but that STILL makes him a better source for Morrison's medical history than Kennealy, who saw him every now and then.
- And pneumonia really fucks with your lungs, and can easily relapse.
- I think this theory galls her because once again, this was a theory put forth in a book that she was interviewed for: No One Here Gets Out Alive.
- And she's offered opinions which conflict with her own "Jim Death Fantasy" herself. On camera. Bet she wishes she hadn't done that.
- And despite her trying to imply that he was healthy as a horse and totally could NOT have suffered a life-threatening disease, he doesn't come across as very healthy in her own autobiography. There's a chapter that is mostly devoted to him suddenly developing a horrifying fever for no reason at all, which is never explained or remarked on again.
and Pamela really tried vainly and valiantly to help him, or, no, maybe she wasn't even there when he died, yeah, THAT'S it...
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? The more Kennealy talks about their "delusions," the more I think that she either is making them up, or encountered one loopy obsessed fan and is assigning all these imaginary claims to EVERYONE who doesn't believe her crap.
No, they can't endure my truth because they have in their own tiny demented minds become Jim, become Pam, and my truth -- and truth it is -- so inconveniently interferes with their pathology, like matter and antimatter. Because if I'm right about Jim and me -- and I am -- then they must be wrong, and they find that intolerable.
- Yet another fun example of "this can be applied to the applier."
- For instance, PKM has demonstrated that she just can't tolerate ANYONE who thinks Pamela was Morrison's main squeeze. If they're right, then SHE must be wrong, and that interferes in HER pathology.
- And yeah, that "tiny demented minds" thing with the belief that they ARE Jim and/or Pam? She believes that of everyone who thinks that Pamela was Morrison's main squeeze.
- After all, if she acknowledges that hey, some people believe that because of the overwhelming evidence and testimonies of people who knew him... she might have to admit that they might have a point.
And they do know that I am right;
And what makes you think that, dearie?
that is why they are so vicious in their attacks on me, why they cunningly employ partial truths and incomplete quotes to make their lying points.
- I have the odd feeling that she's referring to a specific person/specific people, but not sure who.
- If this is another slam on the people who have written books about him (see above comment about "incomplete quotes") then see previous study of what they said. They were all pretty nice, considering.
- She was happy to be interviewed by some of these people before she turned her whole life into the Epic Fantasy Romance Of Jim And Patricia, so she can't explicitly slam them for their "partial truths" now.
I get so fed up with all those maggots out there, the ones whose knuckles graze the ground, who like to think (if you can call it thinking) that Jim was just a big fat drunken slob who made some cool music but who was lucky to have died when he did, before he could disgrace himself in their piggy little eyes even more than he had already done. It's as if they find Jim's alleged decline somehow comforting, a validation of their own wretched shortcomings.
- Recall how she praises how various fans have written her adoring letters talking about how her book has made them see Jim as "a person they do not feel cheated by, a person they now feel they can admire without shame and mourn without embarrassment."
- And THOSE are the people she likes. Apparently you are only worthy of adoration if you are a Prince Charming figure.
- And WHO are these people? She was rambling about the evil Pam-obsessed people who don't buy into the Lizard Queen crap a minute ago, and then she switches over into a whole NEW grouping of fans that she hates.
- PKM seems to just hate Doors fans in general, doesn't she?
- In fact, she only seems to consider them true fans... if they are also fans of her story, and of her by extension.
They wanted Jim to stay a boy forever.
So they kept feeding him hormones and made him wear a clamp on his balls.
But when Jim actually dared to grow up on them, presumed to become a MAN, wouldn't be that Young Lion Guy for them anymore,
Yeah, he "grew up." Because bad-boy rock stars in their 20s are known for acting with maturity and wisdom.
they were only too delighted to grind him into the dirt, to enjoy the portrait they cherished of him as all washed up; and then when he went so far as to die, they were absolutely ECSTATIC.
Again, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? This is like visiting hour at the local loony bin, where you sit there while somebody rambles about the CIA employing lizard people to read people's minds, and how the Vatican has deployed a giant slug that is devouring Asia, plus there are those nasty time-traveling robots who are trying to infiltrate the hospital, but which can be repelled by the color purple!
I am not kidding. I do not know who Kennealy is talking about.
Because now they could unload on him all they liked and he couldn't stop them, they could construct whatever septic fantasies they pleased,
Again, this could be said of PKM. While he was alive she was a significant but not serious girlfriend - and once he was dead, she could now craft an eternal spiritual romance that transcends death, while also claiming that he speaks to her from beyond the grave.
they could get their noxious little rocks off the only way they apparently can:
by trashing somebody who had more class and heart and soul and guts and talent in his little fingernail than the collective masses of these so-called "fans" combined.
- I'm also not sure WHAT this "trashing" entails. She doesn't really explain what she's talking about.
- Since she's no longer rambling incoherently about Pam, I assume she means the people who... well, are willing to admit that Jim Morrison could be a drunken asshole.
- You know, Kennealy loves to let people know all the Srs Lit'rary Things she's read, and how knowledgeable she is about them. You would think she would be aware that there have been many, many great, beloved, brilliant artists who were also tools. Or addicts. Or both.
- It doesn't mean we don't admire them or what they did, but it isn't a good idea to whitewash people's reputations for getting drunk and being assholes.
- Like, say, he did IN HER BOOK.
Somehow it makes them glad to run Jim down, because somehow if HE is bad, it makes THEM less bad. As long as Jim can be safely slagged, it's somehow okay for them to be the worthless little pieces of garbage that they are.
I can't tell if she's raging out at Doors fans who were genuinely toxic, Doors fans who don't buy her crap, or just raging out at the other authors who DON'T whitewash Jim Morrison's reputation.
I hate to break it to you, Ms. Kennealy, but people recognizing that Jim Morrison was as flawed as he was talented doesn't make them "bad" or "worthless little pieces of garbage." It makes them writers of nonfiction, instead of fannishly insisting that he was GREATEST ROCK STAR EVER, PERFECT LOVER AND NOT AN ADDICT!
They didn't want to have to deal with him growing older and mature and CHANGING on them; man, they even hated it when the Doors' music changed.
So... totally typical fans, huh?
They just wanted the same damn stuff over and over and nothing new or other; I cannot TELL you how often, and how bitterly, Jim complained to me about that. They wanted him to be that starved skeletal prettyboy waif forever, to sing 'Light My Fire' forever, and when he dared to betray them by maturing in mind and art,
AGAIN... I don't know who she's ranting about. And again, this is not something ever featured in her book. It's amazing that despite only spending a few weeks in each other's presence, and PKM getting a full-sized memoir out of the relationship, they had SO MANY conversations she didn't include.
and putting on weight to a normal healthy adult male's measure (he was six feet tall, he could well afford to weigh 180 pounds, HE WAS NOT FAT!!!), well, they just had to strike back.
Actually, from what I've been able to glean, that's definitely in the upper range of healthy male weight for that height. If not slightly above.
Plus when you add in alcohol bloat and a slowing metabolism... not very "healthy."
And, once he died, they could. And did. And this, I remind you, is the man they claim is their hero and their god...and we all know what happens to failed gods.
- They end up in American Gods, killing cows for a living?
- I've never heard anyone claiming Morrison as either a hero or a god.
- You can attach all the Dionysian symbolism you like to him, but fact is, rock stars are rarely seen as "heroes" even by people who adore them.
I have made little specific reference here to the way they speak of and think of and treat me, because I consider them utterly beneath my notice; I don't even bother to read their cloacal diatribes.
So... she knows exactly how these probably-mythical people think, speak and act... but has never actually read their words. That sounds wonderfully plausible. I fully believe that, because clearly I suffer from severe brain damage.
(Though my lawyers are of course ever vigilant, and apprise me should something seem actionable...)
"Like if anyone ever calls Pamela his wife ROOOOAAARRRRRR HULK MAD HULK SMASH DOORS FANS HULK IS JIM'S ONLY TRUE LOVE AND WIFE!"
No, these malevolent sluglings have never done anything of any smallest remotest degree of creative or spiritual merit or worth or importance,
And you would know this... how, pray? You claim to have not even read what they have to say (yet somehow know exactly what they think in every way), yet somehow you claim that you know exactly what they do/don't do in their real lives outside Internet message boards.
and those are the tools and parameters by which I measure people; therefore by my reckoning they are less than human, and of no account either to me or to Jim.
So the majority of people on this planet are less than human, because most of them won't do anything creatively interesting or meritorious. See also...
Not to mention that it pretty much confirms that if Jim Morrison had been just as smart and handsome, but hadn't been a rock star, she wouldn't have given him the time of day. Say, he'd been poetry-loving, literate, handsome, smart tax accountant Jim Morrison. Do you think she would be interested?
And I bet she wouldn't have this viewpoint if she herself had no writing ability... although to be fair, lack of ability never stopped a delusional egotist before.
If they were really smart, they'd ignore me completely;
- And if they ignored you, you'd say that they were stupid for not recognizing her greatness.
- Also, PKM makes it very hard to ignore her, because she won't shut up.
- Remember how Morrison was pardoned? She sent a super-bombastic message to a major newspaper, and usurped the place of the ACTUAL DOORS in commenting on it.
- How can you ignore someone who keeps shoving past you so they can get on the stage and scream into the mic?
but of course we see that they are not only malignant but abysmally stupid. Fine: Let the curs yap in their ignorance and snap in their impotence. The caravan rolls on unheeding indeed; Jim and I and our work will outlast them all put together.
- Again, she claims to have not read a word by these people... yet expects us to agree that they are Satan's dingleberries based on the stuff she claims to have not read.
- Jim's work will definitely outlast them...
- But her work, not so much. Can you say "obscurity caused by a self-insert fantasy"?
- And... no, they didn't outlast "Jim and her." Jim Morrison is very, very dead. Has been for a long time.
- Also, their relationship pretty definitively ended when he DIED.
- And I don't know if Kennealy is aware of this, but a large number of people who discuss Jim Morrison online are not old enough to have actually seen and followed him when he was alive. Is she delusional enough to believe that they all wanted him to be an undernourished prettyboy waif singing the same songs forever too?
That's something I learned from Jim himself, who often counseled me on the importance of growing a "duck's back";
Too bad she didn't take his advice. She may claim she's above all this shit, but she lets all of it get under her skin and fester.
And again, I have to wonder how many of these conversations that never made it into the book happened.
I asked him once how he dealt with all the trashtalk, 'cause God knows he got a lot more of it,
Well, he WAS a rock star. It figures he would get more feedback of all kinds than a midlist SF/F author.
if not quite so evil and nasty as the stuff I now come in for,
Possibly because he didn't post deranged rants full of sketchy facts and boasting online, or claim to be the one true love of Marlene Dietrich.
and he just smiled and said, "Honey, it just rolls right off my back. I'd go nuts if I let them get to me." It was his great victory that they could not touch him; and now it is mine.
So... in order to show that nobody can touch you... you post long screaming rants about how disgusting, evil and subhuman they are, not that you read anything they have to say, because they said Jim was overweight at some point.
Seems totally logical.