Want some totally non-snarky honesty? By the time this novella came out, I had totally forgotten who the hell Bree Tanner was. So when I heard she was coming out with a midquel called The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, my first thought was, "Who's that?"

I had to do some heavy-duty googling to find out. It's this kid.


Yup, that annoying little girl from Silent Hill is now a sparklepire. And since I assume Smeyer was sick of being unfavorably compared to JK Rowling, she gets brutally murdered by the Volturi because… well, Smeyer probably thinks that the death of a character we neither know nor care about is dark and edgy. It shows that this is serious life and death stuff, not the boring romantic drivel everybody thought!

You know, it sort of destroys any tension in your book when readers KNOW ALREADY that everybody in the book is going to die.

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