1. THE FLAMING LIPS, "DO YOU REALIZE"
I‘d been dreading this day for months.
All through the perfect summer—the happiest summer I had ever had, the happiest summer anyone anywhere had ever had, and the rainiest summer in the history of the Olympic Peninsula—this bleak date had lurked in ambush, waiting to spring.
And now that it had hit, it was even worse than I‘d feared it would be. I could feel it—I was older. Every day I got older, but this was different, worse, quantifiable. I was eighteen.
And Edward never would be.
And we start off with a song that I love, being applied to something I hate. Excuse me, I need to weep copiously now.
And it doesn't really work with this passage.
- Yes, it's about mortality and how you should connect with those you love because life is short.
- It is NOT about how you are physically a year older than your boyfriend even if he's a century old, oh boohoo, your relationship is so unnatural!
- And since it's addressing a "you" who has "the most beautiful face," it doesn't work.
- It might work if it was from Edturd to Bawla, because everybody around her except the Cullens WILL die, and she won't be with them long because she'll eventually become a vampire.
- But it's not. This seems to be from Bella's perspective... so it doesn't work.
2. LINKIN PARK, "PAPERCUT"
Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm—into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.
Joy. We couldn't go long without a Stinkin Park song.
And once again, we have Smeyer assigning songs based entirely on their titles. This song is not about getting a cut. It is about paranoia.
3. MUSE, "HYPER MUSIC"
"You... don‘t... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz—hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he‘d spoken.
Sigh. Muse. I hate that this band has become megafamous because of Smeyer smearing her glittery PG-rated mediocrity all over it.
That said, this is the closest this list has to an appropriate song, since it's someone telling someone else that they don't love them and never did. Of course, that's just the chorus. The first stanza has NOTHING to do with this, no matter how you spin it.
4. MUSE, "APOCALYPSE PLEASE"
With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.
DAMMIT, why is Muse getting molested twice in a row?
I assume Smeyer chose this song because it talks about "the end of the world" and stuff like that. Except... NOTHING ELSE FITS. This is a song that talks about "declare this an emergency/come on and spread a sense of urgency," miracles and talking about victory and "change the course of history."
What does any of that have to do with even the most melodramatic breakup? NOTHING.
5. THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS, "TIME STANDS STILL"
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
Well, this one fits the book... in that it's a melodramatic breakup song that gives you no actual reason to give a crap about either person. You're apparently just supposed to go, "Ohhh, so twagic! Breakups are always a big deal! So sad!"
Except that the song gives us no reason to give a shit. Why did this couple break up? Why should I care? How long were they together? How did they meet? What did they DO when they were together? We don't get clues about ANY of these.
Funny, that sounds strangely like Bawla and Edturd's relationship.
6. MARJORIE FAIR, "EMPTY ROOM"
I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn‘t seen that one coming.
Not that I hadn‘t dreamed of becoming a mythical monster once—just never a grotesque, animated corpse.
Not that I hadn‘t dreamed of becoming a mythical monster once—just never a grotesque, animated corpse. I shook my head to dislodge that train of thought, feeling panicky. I couldn‘t afford to think about what I‘d once dreamed of.
It was depressing to realize that I wasn‘t the heroine anymore, that my story was over.
7. MATCHBOX TWENTY, "UNWELL"
Charlie stared at me during breakfast, and I tried to ignore him. I supposed I deserved it. I couldn‘t expect him not to worry. It would probably be weeks before he stopped watching for the return of the zombie, and I would just have to try to not let it bother me. After all, I would be watching for the return of the zombie, too.Two days was hardly long enough to call me cured.
8. JIMMY EAT WORLD, "PAIN"
I turned my back on the gaping emptiness and hurried to my truck. I nearly ran. I was anxious to be gone, to get back to the human world. I felt hideously empty, and I wanted to see Jacob. Maybe I was developing a new kind of sickness, another addiction, like the numbness before. I didn‘t care. I pushed my truck as fast as it would go as I barreled toward my fix.
9. THE VINES, "RIDE"
I‘d left my stomach back at the starting point; the adrenaline coursed through my body, tingling in my veins.
10. COLDPLAY, "FIX YOU"
"It‘s just that, I know how you‘re unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn‘t help anything, but I wanted you to know that I‘m always here. I won‘t ever let you down—I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?"
11. ROONEY, "BLUESIDE"
I was in deeper than I‘d planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn‘t bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn‘t keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, I also knew that I would let him try.
He was my best friend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough.
12. THE FRAY, "OVER MY HEAD (CABLE CAR)"
I‘d thought Jake had been healing the hole in me—or at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting me so much. I‘d been wrong. He‘d just been carving out his own hole, so that I was now riddled through like Swiss cheese.
13. EVANESCENCE, "GOING UNDER"
I smiled and raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain. But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool—feet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring....
And I flung myself off the cliff.
14. BRAND NEW, "TAUTOU"
My ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I‘d forgotten what real happiness felt like.
Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.
15. RELIENT K, "BE MY ESCAPE"
What if Paris had been Juliet‘s friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of her?
What if Juliet knew she couldn‘t survive without him? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be happy?
And... what if she loved Paris? Not like Romeo. Nothing like that, of course. But enough that she wanted him to be happy, too?
Jacob‘s slow, deep breathing was the only sound in the room—like a lullaby hummed to a child, like the whisper of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to go.... It was the sound of comfort.
If Romeo was really gone, never coming back, would it have mattered whether or not Juliet had taken Paris up on his offer? Maybe she should have tried to settle into the leftover scraps of life that were left behind.Maybe that would have been as close to happiness as she could get.
16. THE VERVE PIPE, "NEVER LET YOU DOWN"
"I know you don‘t feel exactly the way I do, Bells. I swear I don‘t mind. I‘m just so glad you‘re okay that I could sing—and that‘s something no one wants to hear." He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear.
17. MUSE, "SING FOR ABSOLUTION"
"I saw him going to the Volturi... and asking to die."
18. FATBOY SLIM, "YA MAMMA"
She drove in quick spurts and sudden stops, and the people in the crowd shook their fists at us and said angry words that I was glad I couldn‘t understand. She turned onto a little path that couldn‘t have been meant for cars; shocked people had to squeeze into doorways as we scraped by. We found another street at the end. The buildings were taller here; they leaned together overhead so that no sunlight touched the pavement—the thrashing red flags on either side nearly met. The crowd was thicker here than anywhere else. Alice stopped the car. I had the door open before we were at a standstill.
She pointed to where the street widened into a patch of bright openness. "There—we‘re at the southern end of the square. Run straight across, to the right of the clock tower. I‘ll find a way around—"
Her breath caught suddenly, and when she spoke again, her voice was a hiss. "They‘re everywhere!"
I froze in place, but she pushed me out of the car. "Forget about them. You have two minutes. Go, Bella, go!" she shouted, climbing out of the car as she spoke.
I didn‘t pause to watch Alice melt into the shadows. I didn‘t stop to close my door behind me. I shoved a heavy woman out of my way and ran flat out, head down, paying little attention to anything but the uneven stones beneath my feet.
First it's "Ya Mama." You would think, in a published book, SOMEBODY would have checked this. Seriously, why am I not an editor? I apparently give more of a shit than THIS book's editor was.
Second, I was really surprised to see a Fatboy Slim song on this playlist, because Smeyer is the whitest person in the world, and she is so puritanical that she said people should listen to the radio edit of "Creep" so they wouldn't hear the word "fucking." After all, hip-hop isn't exactly known for its chaste and clean-mouthed lyrics. I mean, THIS was a hit song.
Then I realized I had mixed him up with Fat Joe, who actually IS a rapper.
Yeah, Fatboy Slim is TECHNICALLY a rapper, but he's also a DJA/house producer. And he basically has three lines in every song he produces. This song is literally almost nothing but him saying "Push the tempo up!"... which I guess kind of fits the running... or would if Bella "running" didn't mostly involve her banging herself uselessly into random Italians. And it doesn't really fit driving in a traffic jam.
Also, not sure how "shake what ya mama gave ya" fits this scene, especially since Bella doesn't seem to have anything in that department.
19. FOO FIGHTERS, "DOA"
I wished I could ask him exactly what was going to happen now. I wanted desperately to know how we were going to die—as if that would somehow make it better, knowing in advance.
20. MARJORIE FAIR, "STARE"
I couldn‘t keep my eyes off of Edward‘s face for long. I stared at him, wishing more than anything that the future would never happen. That this moment would last forever, or, if it couldn‘t, that I would stop existing when it did.
Edward stared right back at me, his dark eyes soft, and it was easy to pretend that he felt the same way. So that‘s what I did. I pretended, to make the moment sweeter.
21. COLDPLAY, "THE SCIENTIST"
"You weren‘t going to let go," he whispered. "I could see that. I didn‘t want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn‘t convince you that I didn‘t love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I‘d moved on, so would you."
"A clean break," I whispered through unmoving lips.
"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible—that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I‘m so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn‘t protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn‘t work. I‘m sorry."
22. SUGARCULT, "MEMORY"
"Don‘t promise me anything," I whispered. If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing... that would kill me. Where all those merciless vampires had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job.
23. ARMOR FOR SLEEP, "THE TRUTH ABOUT HEAVEN"
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason.... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn‘t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
24. BLUE OCTOBER, "SOUND OF PULLING HEAVEN DOWN"
Edward‘s and Bella‘s perspectives
"Your epiphany?" he asked, his voice uneven and strained.
"You love me," I marveled. The sense of conviction and rightness washed through me again.
Though his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. "Truly, I do."
My heart inflated like it was going to crack right through my ribs. It filled my chest and blocked my throat so that I could not speak.