Fandom

Satireknight Wiki

The Volturi Guard - Felix

581pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Comments0 Share

DATE OF BIRTH: Unknown
DATE OF TRANSFORMATION: Unknown
...
PLACE OF ORIGIN: Unknown

MAKE SOMETHING UP. What is the point of a "guide" if it doesn't give you any new information, and just pukes up the stuff you already know! Or is Smeyer too lazy to just pick a number and a place?!

It's bad enough that this drippy bitch refuses to write any actual backstory for the minor characters. This is even worse!


Felix is very tall and muscular. His pale skin has a slight olive cast.

I suspect that Stephenie "My Vampires Lose All Skin Pigmentation, Becoming White and Delightsome" Meyer has never met an olive-skinned person.


SPECIAL ABILITIES: He does not possess a quantifiable supernatural ability.

But he's really good at shadow puppets.


FAMILY/COVEN RELATIONSHIPS: Guard members show the Volturi the loyalty they would family.

Because you just decide that tyrannical overlords are your family. That's just how it works.

perfect%2Bfamily%2B-%2Bties%2Bthat%2Bbind%2Band%2Bstrangle.jpg

he is physically the strongest vampire that the Volturi have encountered.

... wait, so Aro turned him into a vampire because he was a muscleman? Or did Aro just randomly turn people so he could figure out what they could do later?

I AM SO CONFUSED.


Felix is a part of most of the Volturi‘s punitive missions. When there are larger threats,

... he leaves severed horse heads in naughty vampires' beds.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.